It's 7am now in the morning of a normal school day.
The sky outside is unusually dark, considering the hour.
But not so unusual since it's always rainy in this season.
The one thing I find most unusual is my mood.
I've always been anxious and excited; even for the whole week;
for it is the school reopen.
Every year this time I look forward to meeting my old friends,
and on three occasions, the nervousness overwhelmed, where I have to face a totally new environment and make new friends.
all these happened in similar periods, similar weather, similar anxiety...
(I'll say that all 3 occasions mark important milestones of my life; for I've met so many and been through so much -- all with these occasions as a starting point).
--
One thing is different this year.
As I look out of the window and onto the streets, listening to the traffic out on the road: bus stopping, accelerating; cars zooming pass, traffic lights beeping etc etc; they all seem so close to me, for I've been through all these for the past 12 years.
One thing is different this year.
The kiddo walking down the street is no longer me.
One thing is different this year.
My mood.
Less anxiety; more envious.
Less nervousness; more laid-back.
Less excitement; more sad.
I wish I could be there; But I've already been there, done that.
For the past 12 years, this is the first one that I'll skip.
School Reopens.
But I'm no longer part of this whole excitement.
Perhaps I'll still get my chance to feel the first day to enlistment; to work; to university. But these feelings are definitely less enjoyable than that of reporting back to the carefree and joyful school life.
No matter issit crossing over the street just under my house after I've confirmed that the school gates are opened from the bird's eye view that I have the privilege of; or to try hard to recall the timing that I used to have on a normal school day to get down to the bus stop I always go to with the mind of hoping to see the cute crush that I had who is now my girlfriend, only to find myself always too early; or just to ran and catch one of the three buses that I have to catch to be sure that I'm not late for school and when I got to the usual one, feel a little pissed off cause there's always a loudspeaker beside me....
All these feelings are now memories.
Perhaps they'll do much help when my brain try to recall the experience called 'nostalgic'.
--
Happy School Reopen, kiddos.
