Oh remember the 30-day challenge I once blogged about?

Failed terribly.

Lol.

Let's stay as we are

and enjoy what we have now.

Tumblr vs Facebook

Not much of a difference now;

but trust me Blog,
I still prefer you.

XD

US$ is rising back against S$!!

NO!!!

End of my shopping era

That's 3 things I learnt about love

1) It's a bad thing it comes fast
2) It's irrational
3) It's not good to have a choice

--

Many more...

In a relationship, it's never good to have a choice

And perhaps that's also the case for life.

Catch-22 situation

Love is irrational:

I don't want you to leave,
though I know you'll be happier going back to him.
But by being selfish,
am I showing you that I don't love you?

--

If I let you leave: you'll think that I don't love you.
If I don't let you leave: I'm don't want you to be happy: you'll think that I don't love you.

Whichever way,
it's wrong,
I'm at fault.

--

I just learnt this paradox this afternoon.

It feels so different

between you being the one left behind,
and you being the one leaving.

If you know one day your partner's gonna leave,

Will you stay?
Or move back to the one that you know will always be there for you?...

This week felt too long

Maybe because most of it is "weekend"

=D

I'm not complaining.

--

I'm only halfway there.
Ha!

I ALMOST became a party animal

If I had gone tonight...

--

But wait,
there's still tomorrow!

Lol.

Wake me up when September ends

So that I can go back to December.

-.-

Home alone kid tonight

Who wanna come keep me accompany?!?! :(

So many of you are important in my life

But how many of you am I important to now?..

You ask how many of my posts here is about her

But she's the reason why this place even exist.

This is my escapade.

Today I went past the familiar place once again

And the nostalgia resurfaced.

--

Now that I'm at kangster's place,
It seems like we've gone back in time.

And yes, I love you baby

I've never said it before here,
I realize.

I'm trying my best to get everything back on the right track;

Including my feelings and emotions.

Have faith baby.
Let's enjoy all that we have now...

The previous post is really total randomness

I am not inferring anything,
Nor referring to anyone.

:)

Love you baby.

Dust

Sunset always trigger emotional thoughts.

Something is ending;
Forever never comes..

I needa chase;
My dreams, my desires, my life,
Before it all ends.
I want my freedom;
I wanna live with no regrets.
I wanna die a satisfied man.

I want,
Nothing.
Nothingness is not fearsome,
Despair is.

The thoughts of applying for UK unis are back again

LSE?
Warwick?

Some of the courses are so appealing
and the cut-offs are not exactly very far-fetch.

Hmmm...

Night of "just-in-time"

First I took the bus then the train,
then I realize it's getting kinda late
and Gab ask me to cab down,
but I can't find a single cab at Douby,
so I thought I'll just wait for the bus.
Then the traffic light suddenly turned Orange,
and an available taxi jammed on the brake
and stopped at the other side of the 5-lane road;
that's when I just told Gab I couldn't get a can.
Just in time.

While I was on the cab,
they told me to be fast cos the queue was short
and they started queuing first.
When I reach,
they were at the very front of the queue;
best thing,
we're the last group to enter.
Just in time.

Then we walked down to Holiday Inn to get drinks.
We went in and saw nobody
except the security guard who was walking around.
I look down at my watch and saw the seconds-hand tick to midnight.
We walk into the shop and ask the aunty whether we can still buy some liquor,
she looked at her watch and says "last order".
Just fking in time.

--

What a night.
Great start that didn't end off very well,

unless you count the trannies that approach to be something nice.

Zzz

I don't feel like eating

because I've taken alcohol,
and I'm sick.

But I have to eat,
so that I can take my medicine.

Because if I don't take my medicine,
I'll continue to be sick.

And maybe eating will lighten my headache,
but after taking medicine it'll definitely be better.

To do so, I'll first need to eat,
but mummy is still cooking...

So moral of the story:
I need to eat

But mummy is still cooking.



So I'll have to wait.

--

Lol.

Well-trained for that.

--

I'm sober la! -.-

Hate waiting

Because I've done that for the past two years and counting.

And this afternoon just reminded me how much I hate it.
Let's stop wasting life, youth, time...

Zzz

--

Good thing it was free
=]

I've told you before

I don't deny I'm angry
And disappointed.

But I'm partly at fault.

I'm sorry.

Let it not happen again in future..

Pencil and Eraser

Why's everyone posting about it?

We're using pen so much more frequently and correction fluid is the only thing to cover the mistakes and errors up.

The thing is:
It wounds and leaves scars that are obvious.

Why am I getting fatter?!

I remember outfield used to be so beneficial because I'll always lose some weight after..

Seems like it really doesn't apply anymore after we turn Ops.
Zzz

Fate is being a bitch

We're still young,

Go out, have fun!

--

Move on..

Wrong decision

But a good one;
to go drinking last night.
Had fun, but not exactly.
Got drunk, but hangover came together.

Worst,
waste money!

Lol.

But I guess it's always worthwhile to spend some money and time with your buddies;
one day, they're gonna have families and other commitments,

we don't have much youth and time left for these kinds of wildness and craziness.

Enjoy!
Cheers...

The worse thing is, our jump task was cancelled.

Or maybe that's a good thing?
Lol.
Say goodbye to my $300.......

From Tekong back to mainland, just to go back to Tekong with a heavier load and endure a suckier weather.
Oh well.

At least now we all feel like we're real Ops soldiers.

And like what some reflected:
after this week, we're rather sure the next thing that matters is ORD!
(that's if hopefully nothing funny crops up along the way again...)

And yep,
the most important thing is,
nothing really did happen,
and everyone got home safely;

that,
is mission success.

--

Best thing bout this whole "mayhem" is,
I wasn't even supposed to be deployed!!!

I'm supposed to be one of the two to stay back in camp!!!
Thanks, KN and DD. -.-
Lol.
Thanks for the opportunity.

All Out part 2

So that's how it feels like being a walker...

It's really an once-in-a-lifetime experience,
where we can walk the juniors and teach them things we've picked up through the past 1 year plus as a Cdo (which I realize is actually quite a lot); encourage them (especially the one that fall out) to push on; (poke the ass of a Captain. LOL); look into our past.

Anyway, though that prove NOT to be our last outfield as a NSF, it's still rather fun and memorable (especially the rain -.- which made me deploy my Goretex second time in my Cdo career) and I definitely do not regret going despite having to endure the rain and shine while I was sick and getting all the heat rash when we return, not forgetting the shoulder and leg aches (Cui, lol).

Like a boss!

--

Good or bad, we got activated and have to return back to mainland halfway through the exercise (to partake in something bigger), so we didn't have the chance to experience the full package...

Turmoil

Will it be a wise choice?

I'm not heeding experienced advice,
I'm not listening.

I'm doing it

My way.

It I tell you, I'll have to kill you

This week only consist of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.

The others, blank out.

Fresh look

New beginning

Yes, I'm the one that gave this all up.

And from what I've heard,
this is not the first time.

Not the first time I'm asking to be free.

--

I'm not a relationship-guy.

Now, I'm having phobia.

--

Freedom,
I'd exchange everything for it.

I'm sorry.

I am to blame

but I can no longer cheat you and myself of my feelings for you.
When can I ever break the news and not hurt you? Never?..

--

I've never been ready to commit.
Sorry that I did,
only to leave you with scars.

--

It's redundant to apologize,
or even to ask how are you.

Stay strong,
live on.

--

I am 100% sure
you'll find someone much better than me,

and more importantly,
treats you much better...

The difference a week makes

life-changing.

No matter you find this an excuse or not:

I like you,

but not relationship.

If you loved me a single bit you'll fight for this relationship!

No,

I loved you more than the single bit you're talking about,
and that's why I'm not fighting at all.

--

Why fight to hurt you once again,
when I can choose to let you go once;
hurting you only this once...

--

You don't believe in eternal love;

but this two months we've been together,
the things we've been through,
it's more than eternal to me...

--

Why not leave it in a high?
Before everything turns ugly?...

At the rate we're quarreling,
we'll only go down, deeper...

--

I'm being a man,
I'm being strong.

--

Fly,

to where you belong.

be strong and firm in your decision (:

-- From someone that really understands me.

Gone

There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home (yeah)
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange (mmh)
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..
You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone.. You're...

I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone (no, no)But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now.....
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do, Yeeaah

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..
You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone....
you're gone..
you're....
Gone Ohhh...

Oh what'll I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Loving we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me Oohhh...

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains
You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone Gone
You're gone..
But the truth remains
You're....

rational than romantic

When I know that we love each other but we're not suited for one another,

...

I'm sorry.

I teared

because I felt like I was a jerk.

In fact, I am.

I haven't been toying with you or your heart.
It's just that we've got together too fast;
so fast, we haven't really got to know each other.

And when we do,
we realize we're wrong;
ok, perhaps it's not 'we', it's 'I'.

But by then,
we've sunk too deep in;
we've committed.
It's too late.

When you're probably right.

When you feel insecure,
when you feel like I'm not loving you enough,
when you feel like I'm leaving,

you're probably right.

I can't,

I just can't.

I can't bear to hurt you,
and I realize I've been doing so...

I haven't been fair to you,
now I do.

I'm sorry.

Let me go;

I don't belong.

--

I'd rather hurt you this once,
hard;

than to drag on and make you suffer,
long.

Really, I'm not.

I'm not your Prince Charming,
I don't love you as much as you do and as you want me to.

I'm not your Golden Turtle,
I can't promise you the life you want and the things you like.

I'm not your Mr Right,
There's so many things between us that just isn't; we're just different.

I'm not your One and Only,
There's too much past in you, I'm never half as good...

I don't seek your forgiveness

It's difficult.

--

I just want you to take care;
bounce back.

Life, goes on.

I am what I've said:

Mediocre

I'm a bastard

Yes I am.

--

You don't know what I've done.
Judge me.

Prejudice.

I've done far worst.

--

I deserve to be shot,
hung,
shocked.

Old scar, new wound.

I'm really lost

Really, really lost...

2-months

it sounds so short, but it's actually rather long.

Thanks for the memories.

Karma, I strongly believe so

Everything is hitting back at me.

The only perfection in life is imperfection

We can't be more perfect.

Who do you think you are?

Running round leaving scars..

--

Self-reflection.

Is it fate?

That brought us away?...

I don't know what else can I say.

I've got so much I've wanted to.

Now,
I'm speechless.

I'm sorry..

I'm doing what I think is fair.

To you.

Sick..

At the wrong time!

Ace! Ace!

Finally finished my ACCT. Next up, Mod II.
=]
Not forgetting All Out and Currency jump!

By the way, not really prepared to jump actually.

Can I just carry out my deal with Nic and skip the jump?!?! =X
But $300 additional is too enticing!!! =S
Haiz, seems like I'll just do it. =[
For the money!!! =]

So the sagas are finally over

After all the mayhem and even an "Oprah" show going on on Panther's fb group,
now everything is sort of settled and compromises are made;
all we can do now is wait and see, and vote.
And that follows the next saga where XAO personnel can't jump to get the $300 currency jump which is also solved and next is to pray for the rain to NOT come on that day (STOP making comments about my clearing of extras; would you rather do COS in the office with aircon or go outfield to weather the rain and shine?! STOP being lame and childish, people!)
And also, up-and-coming, MOD II airborne.
But currently, I think what's most worrying is "WHEN IS THE FUCKING TURNOUT?!"... Zzz
And not forgetting ACCT to clear by this week...

Zzz
=[

So many thing's going on and who says life after ATEC is all about waiting for ORD?!?!

Talking bout that,
Congrats to Kaung for ORD-ing today!!!
*clap clap clap*

P.S.: Please clear your debts with me before you finish all your money thanks. LOL

--

Anyway, FTT clash with MOD II.
HOW?!?!?!?!?!
It's a jump date somemore,
god dammit. Zzz

Jar of Hearts

by Christina Perri;

Can't get sick of it.

--

Perri, Grimmie, Auguilera.

Maybe I should name my daugther Christina next time.

Lol.

Book in next morning 1030!

Where on Earth do you find such deals?!

And when CSM and OC stays in camp,
and when before we leave he asked me to make sure my phone's not on silent,
and when nic saw the e-mail...

Hmmm.

Suspicious indeed.

--

But think of the surcharge,
think of our ACCT mock grading tmr,
think of CO not in town.

XD

Hope for the best!!!

This activation thingy

is really getting on everyone's nerves.
Literally.

Zzz.

Things are getting really rather fast paced

Next thing you know, I'm looking for a job while clearing my leaves and offs. XD

Got my iPhone, commencing my driving soon and planning for my diving trip.
Debating about ORD dinner, practicing for Bn Sports Day, organizing coy games.
Getting back our privilege to bring civilian food, moving closer to wearing casual attire for book in/outs, preparing for life after UC and 4NTM.
Mugging for SAT, reading up on Econs stuff, practicing my French.
Checking out Uni halls, surfing the internet for scholarship windows, listening to Jack talk about his Degree, Master and plans for PhD.
Excited about waking up in my own bed at home, anxious about working out of SAF, look forward to having my freedom!..

82 more days.

Why no activation?!?!

Means this week's nights outs have to be forfeited. Zzz

And the few of you out there commenting about everything,

stop acting like you know what to do.

Shuddup and listen, stop bitching about!

Nope, you're hearing, not listening.

Consider things from our perspective. Tyvm.

--

I'm not speaking behind your back.
I trust your level of maturity to figure this out and to say it in your face is to degrade you.

That is not my style.

It just doesn't feel right

When you have nothing to do on a Saturday night.

It's been quite a while...

Some tries too hard

Some just gives up

Some things, you never want them to end.

Have you ever imagined yourself lying there, dying?...

We didn't choose to start it,
but we have to end no matter what.

How?

He can actually tell me he knew it

that comment of his very well proved the subject of the object right.

So why, then, did you do it?..

Cowardice.

Please understand that NSF can actually means Non-Special Forces as well

Perhaps what you have tried to do will work well with regulars who volunteered their service;

not us,

we didn't choose to be there or spend our two-years like that,
though we want to stay.

--

Please,
don't make our desires fade.
When necessity is restricted, we do not want.

I'm never a prince

It's tough to be one.

--

But I'm trying.

This week felt damn long!!

But not a bad week at all!

Apart from the probability of there being a mock turnout this Sunday,
everything else was good.

Passed my ICCT and moved into ACCT, which means it'll all end next Thursday!
Bn jump saga ended with only those that didn't go Thailand having to jump; that means I can continue my plan to go for Ex All Out to support and clear my Extras, and also mean I can skip HCC!!
Got the news that the list of personnel promoting to next higher rank is out, and I'm in despite some chaos where many "sure-get" people eventually didn't! (Though heard news that CFC has got longer reservist cycles... Zzz)
Best of all, PAY is coming in TONIGHT!!!

WOOHOO!!!

RT

I'm so gonna skip tomorrow's RT,

BECAUSE I'M NOT REQUIRE TO GO!!!

--

finally

ABCDEFGHIJK

It's kinda lame;
and I commented asking my god-bro how old is he when he posted this on fb.
But I found it quite comical when his friend "completed" the sentence.

A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl?!
He Is Just Kidding.

-.-

It's really hard to find a Halal restaurant around

Shamin Sng, do it yourself!

Else we'll end up in some stupid fast food restaurant... -.-

I use to make the effort to remember every single friend's birthday

Or at least those that are close,

but now,
it seems so childish.

Or maybe I just can't be bothered.
But truth is,
there's simply just too many to remember;
so much, it's an impossible task.

Zzz.

--

Baby,
how can you live with so little friends?!

Nvm, then I can have more share of you!

XD

baby's being careless!

Spoiled her phone (by dropping it into the toilet bowl!), left her phone at my place, lose my ez-link card etc etc...

Bleh.

Why is the man more meticulous?!?!

HAHA.

Why haven't my book come!

And come to think of it,

I'm fucking lagging behind my study-schedule on the first week!!!

Zzzzzzz

Unarmed combat sucks!

Cos it first injure my back (spine muscles, thanks to Christ) and then now my arms (biceps, thanks to Gab)!!!

--

But I kinda like it actually.
Really cool.

HAHA.

(Not when you're weak, like ...) =X

Maybe because she typed it herself?!

Lol!

But still,

My baby is the cutest!!! XD

My baby

is the cutest!:D

I've meticulously planned my study schedule leading up to my SAT

hopefully I'll diligently complete them on time!

It's my fault,

I'm sorry, baby

I LOVE YOU

Word-of-mouth

I finally witness how razor-sharp the mouth can be in hurting innocent people when shit are stirred.

--

And I almost fall-out with my buddy over such a small misunderstanding;
but somehow, I don't blame the individuals who spread the words,
it's just people's (my included) imagination that processed and linked up all the bits and pieces of news and information that we picked up along the way to create our own deviant story that often have no truth at all.

Human brains are so powerful,
sometimes,
it's destructive.

The week never felt longer!

Thanks (Junior Alpha),

I've got no more need to endure such agony where I've got to stay back in camp when no one else is around!

--

Think about it,
it's actually quite a good deal:
4 days of outfield (during weekdays where the rest are having normal working hours)in exchange of weekend duties.

What a steal!
Thank god the smart me grabbed the chance before it was gone.

Ex All Out, here I walk!

(and god, please don't rain for that 4days...!!!)

--

Now,

I can really start planning my offs and leaves.

With only so little working days left,
there isn't much time for me to finish them all..

Seems like I'm gonna disappear for quite some time after Oct!

XD

CSM, we needa talk. HAHA!

Why is my computer in such as weird font!

Looks like TNR to me,

sucks.

So orbiang. -.-

I don't understand what is wrong with training up with runs after you've got your gold.

Is this society becoming so result-orientated that man is so obsessed with material gains and everything is associated with rewards?

Without them, are we still gonna strive for excellency?

--

The awkward truth of humanity;
the ugly principle of capitalism

I believe in the equal rights of all gender, race and other physical differences among humans

But god didn't made us equal;

Not physically,
Not emotionally.

My escapade,

lost.

No longer mediocre!

I've recently been telling some of my close friends how much I doubt they'll get their Cdo Gold for IPPT

And I really hope one day they'll be back with that smug on their face,
telling me I'm wrong.

I tell them I'm sorry,
and be sincerely happy.

--

But still,

I OWNED you people in the power run this morning.
HAHAHA