It felt surreal -- Tey, 2016

Feels damn bloody proud to be here, submitting something I feel strongly about. 🤓

Positivity in times of adversity

Chapter 1: SG100

I would think I spent more time at this place than at home this semester, and at the point of writing, results were just released to say that I'll have more journey to this place for the rest of the semester...

It was indeed a very humbling experience though, having always thought we're above all with young blood gushing within our internal system. But really, there's so so much more to learn. Most importantly, I learnt how important a team is when time gets really hard. Thanks for all the support, moral and physical, so far! We'll get to where we deserve, I believe! 

And that's us on the hot seat! Really thanks all the people who gave us their vote of confidence, and also all the numerous questions that went our way; while tough, they also served to allow critical thinking on our part so that we can fine tune it further for the May finale! Really awesome feeling to win once again, this time round from a pool of 200 youth judges. 

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Chapter 2: IHG 

I really loved this sport. That was when I was important and useful. This time round, I was still important, but really so much less of use when all the better players are gone. I hope my verb for this sport can become present tense again in the near future. 

I literally did so much more for this sport this year, both on and off court, but I'm inclined to think it'll always be that first love, the distant ex; where you've given in so much but nothing really pays off in the end, except all the bittersweet memories. I'm glad I choose to embrace it once again after stopping in J1, and now I'm glad to say I'm pretty much past my competitive stage for the time being at least. No thanks to my back and knees anyway (or the lack of well-functioning ones) 

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Chapter 3: CNY 

Not sure where to begin but let's just say CNY this year wasn't the best one I've had. In fact, ever since Ah Ma became bedridden, all have changed...

What used to be the whole extended family gathered at my grandma house is now left with these few to countdown with at my place. But yea, times do change and we have to adapt, I guess. And dad was already unwell in this photo. 

Was on my way to friend's house to bainian but decided to visit someone more important instead. Postponing Ren Ri's Lao Yusheng celebration and spending CNY weekends in the hospital accompanying laopa is definitely not the best way to spend the festive season but I now finally learn where I got my positivity from.

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Chapter 4: Class Champions

Find me! Haha 

Was really nice of FASS to give such a customised note at the end of our booth duty. But where's my Yee shirt!?! Haha. 

I really think this is a purposeful cause, especially after I was given the opportunity to pursue things that I didn't even think I would pursue in university and therefore I think everyone should be given a chance for at least pursuits of their desire. 

So yea, didn't reject it when TH came knocking on my email to ask me to be their champion as well (sounds like some medieval trial by combat lol). 

But this is really just the beginning, or so I want to believe. We'll also be class ambassador post graduation, and connecting everyone within the cohort up, that's what I love doing! 

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Chapter 5: THDP

Yea, this happened again. Haha. And I'll just leave this photo here since I've said what I wanna say on IG

Joining dance is really one of my greatest moment/achievement in university life, legitimately going out of my comfort zone. So, good job, Jason! Haha 

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Chaptet 6: TOTY 

That is one photo that looks really amazing at the top right hand corner (but shouldn't appear on the surface of the earth anymore). So thanks whoever that nominated me, I know I'm not gonna win it and is in this race to 陪跑 but getting this "recognition" is not too bad a feeling too. 

Since I'm not gonna win it and I there's more I wanna say, maybe I'll just give a nomination speech here haha. 

After 3.5 years in hall, I realise there are good things, great things, and the best things that can happen to one that truly live their hall life to the fullest. 

The good things are the awesome moments when you get elected into the JCRC, plan that orientation camp, score that crucial goal to bring the finals to extra time and eventually win back that coveted Gold medal, or simply just dancing on the UCC stage for your hall productions. These are things that you'll remember and talk about 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years down the road. 

The great things are the ones that builds you. Taking the plunge to fill into some leadership positions, initiating new events that made others' hall life a more memorable one, or getting out of your comfort zone to try doing something for the first time. These are the opportunities that'll be hard to find in the future, and will build a character better than the one you were yesterday. 

But most importantly, the best things. They come along with the good and the great. In fact, even the bad and the ugly. There's not gonna be a milestone in your hall life that's gonna be without these best things. Some have more of these, and some just the few close to their heart. Some will eventually fade with time, but the worthy few will stay forever in your life. Truth is, we never know. But one thing's for sure, these are the best things that're happening now - at the best time of your life. And yes, these best things are the friends-cum-neighbors-cum-study-mates-cum-alarm-clocks that are sitting, sleeping, and even shitting right beside you all day every day. Cherish them. 

(there's also a second half about all the past TOTY and those who deserved it but didn't get it, but this can wait)

Edit: no surprise, Bfoo won it! 

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Chapter 7: HT 

Finally. 

And of course, all these people to thank, and more! 

And this is so so needed! After such a long journey, this is so freaking comforting!!! 

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Chapter 8: Goodbye

It's finally come to a point where the discussion goes from what operations are needed, to whether there's anymore point in it...

"Yes, it's a minor operation. Question is whether we want to prolong her life with this kind of quality..." 

I don't even wanna think of the amount of courage my aunt must have needed to muster to put to out in the chat. For a very long time, it was only silence. We all sort of know this day would come but no one is ever prepared enough for it I guess. 

Ah Ma brought me up when I was young, and even as I get older I'll sometimes randomly appear at her place to just drop by so her house will be less quiet. Then her health went downhill; she had to move in with my Uncle, Aunty, and finally at my place. I couldn't communicate with her anymore. No one really could. And slowly, I shunned away. Not wanting the awkwardness to persist when she fails to recognise me, I'll only enter her bedside when I had some excuse to, be it to bring my Niece in or to retrieve some stuff. Perhaps it's true that her love is spread amongst many, too many, children and grandchildren that none of us will ever feel as close to her as, say, Zongrui is to his grandma. But really, it's hard to part with someone who's been in all of my life so far. 

I vividly remember her nod when my dad asked if she recognised me last year when she was admitted to the hospital. I vividly remember her quiet self when we went to China together when she was still healthy 10 years back. And I vividly remember her stern face, chiding me and my cousins with a cane in her hands whenever we go out of hand. I vividly remember all the stories she repeatedly told every weekend when we visited her regularly once upon a time. And I vividly remember her, her everything. Even when someday these memories are gonna fade just as hers did, I'll remember, at least for now. And I guess that's all that really matters...