Summary of movements

OK. A summary of what's happened and gonna happen next:

finished my vocational training;
going for cross training and navigation;
going for airborne;
coming back for graduation;
continuing with our 'basic' training.

(shall just list them subtly)

You can't imagine how many times we need to move our barang barang within this period. -.-

Reasoning

Preconventional reasoning:
act almost purely to avoid punishment and to get what they want.

Conventional reasoning:
look for approval from peers and society.

Postconventional reasoning:
make decisions guided by conscience, where self-concept and self-esteem is at play.
Self concept is out perception of ourselves; self esteem is how we feel about ourselves and how we fit in with our peers.

--

What's yours?

Suck it up!

People always regret on certain, if not most of the, decisions they make.

And now I'm having a fair share of them.

People all around are going to OCS and earning more than me. Jealous.
When my IPPT is Gold on infantry's standard, I only get $100. Angry.
When others only have a few guard duties every month, we burn our weekend. INFURIATED!

But well, yes, suck thumb. Haiz.

Abuser

Oh. and I forgot to interrogate Kaung when he came last night.

Someone complaint to me that he's a bad boy...

Hmmm. Rocky eh. But don't worry, I'll bet my life you two won't bear to leave each other too long. =]

When?

It sucks to know so many things you rather not know.

And it sucks more to leave a person you'll give up all to hold on to.

It sucks the most to know that she actually still wants you back; just not now.

Shiok!

Stay out was simply shiok!

Though I did nothing more than meeting friends for dinner on the first day and slacking at home for the second (now that I know Andy attended C for the whole of last week... should have made my stayouts more productive. LOL), the feeling of being on my own bed on a weekday is, yes, shiok! LOL.

One word: Shiok. HAHA.

Wednesday wasn't that bad. Just book in to talk cock and sleep.
Thurs was better still, busy with all the admin work and packing up; night at PRC was happening: having to witness the weapon men kena turned out.
God bless us. And we get to book out at 5 on Friday while they go for range! HA. And the signalers are only booking in AFTER we book out. XD HA.HA.HA.
But then again, I have got no beds in PRC! !@#$%^&* . Have to share with signalers I guess, it's kinda messed up over there: no beds even for the leaders when they return. My, my...

--

Friday was boring as expected. What's unexpected is that the usual PT in the morning starts at 7! Shiok! LOL. Book out was rather smooth, if you don't count the false alarm that 12-men is needed to perform guard in Hendon (which, thanks to CPT Ang, was cancelled) on the day itself! WTH. Like I say, it's really messy now, with SAF, YOG and NDP round the corner.

Friday night was cool. Just when I thought of asking JW out for dinner, my dinner rang and his phone number appeared. LOL. So it was dinner and chill out at his house before going back to Compass to meet the homeless Kaung, (that's when I caught WL and his girl). Met Andy together for dinner before proceeding to my house for Daidi+BlackJack+Poker. Won a bit (and Paraguay's group winner! HAHA). And the hardworking me went running after everything. :D .

And now here I am, slacking at Kang's house (desperate for comp, as you would've expected). Well, supposed to go my sis's house, but she somehow had a change of plan. For the slippers that she brought me, I shall forgive her. HAHA. jkjk.

Anyway, bad news is, my brother extended his stay in US! Smlj. Zzz.

Seems like I'll go one week extra without internet. -.-

My oh my...

Oh well, I haven't done anything for tomorrow anyway.

Now that I think of it, should go home earlier tonight. IF I can. LOL.

My oh my...

Oh well, I haven't done anything for tomorrow anyway.

Now that I think of it, should go home earlier tonight. IF I can. LOL.

Judgment day

TOMORROW is the judgment day.

I need to go all the way down to NUS and come all the way back.

Pray hard, I better get it. Fingers crossed. -.-

Take drugs.

Life without a computer sucks, but there's always an alternative of borrowing one to use.

Life without a scholarship sucks, but at least this give me a wider array of choices to consider my options.

Life without her sucks, but I'll use this period to reflect and do us better good in future, what's more, she ain't gonna leave that easily, is she?

But life without freedom sucks the most, because there's no other alternatives. No way out of this.

Suck it up. Suck Thumb.

Waraku

Yeah. so the clever me once again spent so much money on a single day with cab+dinner+shopping = $100.

Zzz.

Not a smart move at all!
But I like... =]

Missed call

Why did she miss call, only to ignore both my return calls and messages...
Zzz.

Don't press wrong next time!!!

NIGHTS OUT!!!

Ha. Medic course is MARVELOUS. I'm speechless. =]

Sorry for any inconvenience

The road to success is always under construction

-- Civil enginnering

RE: Thanks, Memory

I take back my words that I've always felt emotional at this period of time.

This period of time, this time round, this year, is more likely to be the best time of my life...

And there's more than one occasion, more than one promise that's meaningful to me now.

Thanks.

I feel good!

Oh ya, for the 30 odd sms-es, 30 odd fb feeds, uncountable verbal wishes;
Thanks again.

Birthday resolution!

- Get a scholarship
- Train up
- Save more, spend less
- Reduce GAMBLING!

Best thing bout tonight

The best birthday present someone could actually have is to know that the person he loves still loves him.
And she never meant to leave permanently...

Friend, is it wrong?

Is it wrong to feel happy for a friend who had just broke up with a person who no longer loves her as much anymore?

Is it wrong to feel angry when you see that your friend is repeating a mistake by taking the same path that's proven to fail?

I don't mean any mockery, do I even look like this kind of person?
Neither do I have any ulterior motives, aren't you clear of that by now?

Worldly creatures

Yeah. I'm once again at Kaung's house without him being around.
Luckily I have all these brothers living near me.
Though it poses problems sometimes....

Like I have to provide shelter in times of crisis...
Like gfs will call and see if their man are with me...
Like easy access to MY money and don't have to return......

huh HUH!

LOL. alright. I'm not complaining. He's been a real good brother.

Like going to Beach road and helping me buy my bag now!

Thanks! (Though I doubt you'll see, and I doubt even more that you'll actually buy it, LOL)

--

Oh. talking bout this gang of brothers, the last one's gone MIA, calling him since last night without reply. The first one's gone to stayover at a GIRL friend's house (Hmmm). The fifth one ps-ed me last night when I cordially invited his gang to join ours (excuse: avoid a world war which roots we very much want to and tried very hard to resolve). And I'm gonna see the fourth one for the last few times this week before long since we won't be in the same camp anymore. As for the second one, bet he's still camping at home with his comp. LOL.

And talking bout my gangs, my wine-and-dine clique looks like it's gonna be dissolved soon. No news at all from Mr Pung and Mr Phua. BMT and OCS so busy meh!?!

Ha, and BOBZ is even worse, not even a single one wished me happy birthday! What has this world come to be... !!!

And there's SC7, supposed to have an outing this week according to Sham, but where did it end up to?! NOWHERE! Zzz. HAHA.

Then SaturdaySerangoonGardenGang: with WX defecting, CB (is he even considered in this gang?) in the hiding, our leader Mac confining himself to Bi Guan Xiu Lian, and the girls going overseas soon; think the weekly meetings' gonna be put on an indefinite hold.

Then there're all these other small groups of friends like my beloved JY, JW, Alex, Ben, GK etc etc. Some have long dissaparated, others are busy in their own world.

What has this world come to be?!?!

Seems like I shall go find my own lala land...
LOL.

Birthday week!

Last weekend wasn't exactly eventful, but it was definitely a shag one.
Friday book-out was followed by a stayover at Alex's to watch the opening of World Cup.
Jacuzzi, Remy Martin, sticks and swim. Life.
Well, but Alex got all so emotional that we don't know what to say.
Night ended late but we still had to wake up early for our activities the next day.
Went to do some betting (which I lost. -.-) then went home to change with Kang.
Headed down to City Hall together and we both turn out to be an hour late for our own meeting.
But I still manage to meet the SSGG folks for lunch. (with the rare appearance of Mrs ketchup, LOL)
After the couple went off, the 5 of us went down to Jul's workplace at Tanjong Pagar for milkshake and chilling.
Went off in the evening for Plaza Sing, where we saw JR and HS once again for the third time. Went there to play arcade, didn't beat the high score, but got 3rd! HAHA. Damn lame. After Lyd went off, the rest of us carried on with dinner and movie. A-team is damn nice I swear.
Anyway, went back to Hougang to meet Andy and Rex for a brief while for coffee after that. Wanted to go Andy's place to stayover but it was somewhat inconvenient, we he went off soon after slacking at my house.
Sunday woke up early again! Went to TPY Crystal Jade for family lunch to celebrate my birthday. Usual Tim Sum and birthday cake then headed home.
The previous days were too tiring for me to do anything on Sunday, so I basically slept the rest of the day away.

--

Blanket party isn't the best way to start off one's birthday, but being stuck in a stupid camp, there's nothing much you can ask for. Messages flocked in early in the morning and people all around somehow manage to find out that it's my birthday (courtesy to the big mouths, whom I think me included. =x). But this birthday ain't that bad either, considering it's the first one spent without any freedom for myself. What's more, the whole day's spent in the air-conditioned lecture room, without any instructors at all; relax sial. Better still, there's nights out! That's at least a consolation to the otherwise dullest birthday I've had. But these are nothing compared to the one and only present I receive this year.

Yes, it's from her.
It's not a kiss, not a hug, nor a promise.
It's just a simple reassurance.
Assuring me that I won't need to be afraid of her leaving me...

--

Friday was a rather busy day, consider we had a nights out the day before that we didn't have time to do a thorough area clean. But we still manage to book out earlier than the usual. Went home to slack for a while before going to Wayne's for mahjong/WC. It was really crowded with his brother's friend around as well. Session ended at around 4 in the morning then Lyd and I went off.

Slept till 2 the next afternoon and slacked for another while before heading down to Plaza Sing to meet the others. (didn't see JR and girl this time round. LOL) Arcade-d and broke the high score! Yeah... congrats. -.- Haha. Went to Times to use my birthday offer and get the nice mug, the lucky me got the last one! And it happened to be the design I prefer. Then went over to Timbre to have our dinner and chill. Supposed to go Bugis for buffet, but don't know why the last minute change. Talking bout it, CCB is really CCB, wasted 3 messages of mine to ask the details for the dinner then tell me he's already made arrangement with his sec sch-mates. Zzz. Ha. Ok. So dinner, and a surprise birthday cake appeared! The cake was superb. LOL. Alright, the celebration too. After a very long night (which made HW miss his last train), went to rivervale area for mahjong. And lost, AGAIN. Walao, can't believe my luck. Think I should learn from Mac/WX/CB, go into hiding from the mahjong world.

Total spending for this week till now amount to more than $250! Just 2 days. Zzz. That includes the 100 I've lost to Mahjong. URGH. Ha. But I guess it's money well spent. At least I purchased proportionately higher 'amount' of happiness. But maybe I needa do some reflection on myself on the gambling part huh. Lol.

Anyway. Thanks for the celebration peeps! Loved it.

Ha. After the Mahjong, I reluctantly dragged myself to go run at 5 in the morning. As you can expect from all the chao-kenging, my timing's somehow stucked at 9.40. Haiz. This can't carry on, or else I'll really suffer when I get to Hendon camp. Oh! talking bout it, the Demo and Signal guys all went through their first jump already! Saw them flying all over on Fri morning. Envious sial. Never mind, my turn will come soon enough. =]

Alright peeps, going home for Father's day celebration!

P.S: I feel SO good bout the coming week, with two stay-outs, one nights-out and going back to PRC! -.- Mundai Hill, here I come! LOL.

Regrets are more regrettable than regrets.

Thanks, memory

It's always this period of time that I'll feel damn down, emotional.
There's probably only that one occasion, that one cake, that one day, that one promise, that really added life into my otherwise always-emo birthdays.

You've been an excellent girlfriend.
I realise I've never praise you for that.
I love you. For that.
Thanks for the memories.

Alex's

I'm now at Alex's house!
Ha. Now I've become a wanderer, running all around looking for internet connections.
Desperado. LOL

Realization

Today I attended a lecture/seminar that's been classified as 'Secret'
Though I'm not supposed to expose anything relevant to it, I'll comment:
It's eye-opening, life-changing, heart-throbbing.

I used to feel dejected at the idea of going to the medic course.
But, like what I've posted on one of the post before, it exposed me to never-before-felt first-hand experience of sufferings, war, cruelty, and most importantly, reality.

If you are thinking that the life we live here in our comfort zone is the reality, you are looking at the world through a microscopic lens. The world that we live in is so big, but our perception of 'world' is often dwarved by our limited experience and exposure to nature. Nature of the earth, and more significantly, of Human.

Here in where we live, we always naively believe that what we see and hear will be sufficient to qualify us as a knowledgable and well-read homo sapien being. But it's all false, it's only our self-illuting nature to cover our ass up for having a pea-brain.

I come to realise, and understand, that what we see/hear/feel or even experience, is never enough. There are so much more to life, to the world, to human beings, to the nature, that we'll never be able to relate with.

Basketball life

I played basketball with my platoon mates last thursday.
It affected me so much, but I don't know why.
and I'm perplexed by my revelation.

Maybe it makes me realise that I could no longer truly enjoy my long-time love.
There's no more team.
No more hardship.
No more brotherhood.
Nothing to fight for...

Now then I realise how lucky I was to have the team accepting me.
Twice in my life I've abondoned this love.
But I was granted a second chance, a second life; twice.
Now, it's all ended.
I'll miss that life.

Dreaming, again.

One day, I suddenly had a dream.
It was so real.
But I know it's only my imagination
Perhaps it seems alive only because they use to exist in my memories.

In my dream Tracy still love me, and I still love her.
We were happy together and lived like it's gonna last forever.
Endings seems longer than never.

They say what you dream is what you desire.
Maybe I've lost her for too long;
Maybe I've long wanted to fill up the void she's left behing;
Maybe I've wanted to ment my mistakes and patch things up since long.

But I know it's only my imagination.

We've ended.
And that's reality

I can't stop myself from hallucinating.
But I can't be unfair to her either.
I have to let her go, physically and mentally,
even if she's gripping me tightly from within my soul.
It's not her fault, it never is.

I've only got myself to blame.
And now I've only got myself.
I've got to pick what's left of me up. Again.

I don't

I really don't understand why she suddenly wanna leave;
why she cease wanting to be friends.

Is it because she's finally thought it through and find that I'm not worth her time.
Or because she had found a new guy.
Or because she saw the photos of me with other females.
Or simply because she's just sick of everything?

I'm hoping it's none of the above.
But some part of the naive me choose to believe that she does it
because she didnt wanna hurt me further.
because she finds that I can find a better girl
because she thinks that she's inferior.
Or perhaps there's something she's hiding from me that's better off for me to not know and she's making sure I don't.

I really don't know why.
but I know she have her reasons.

Probably one that I've been oblivious to.

Internet!

Yeah, I'm this desperate for it. Now at Kaung's house though he's not home.
Ha. Needa get so many things done man.
Someone please just revive my internet!

Anyway. just to sidetrack. It's a damn busy week ahead!
After Guarduty and Route march then IV, tomorrow will be theory test followed by practical test on Thurs. Then hopefully the nights out proposed by sergeant will come true and then we can go dinner together on Thurs! Fri's a book out day at last. NO IPPT! HAHA. Shiok. can go enjoy my weekend.
Shouldn't touch on any emotional issues for now. Lol.

Ciao.

Last shift

Yeah. Guard duty has finally ended!
That's if you don't count the breakfast-collection/flag-raising/area-cleaning/guard-dismount and all that sorts of nonsense which equates to 3 more hrs of sleep for me.

Good night people. Zzz.

Guard duty!

Here we go again,
same old shit again.

--

I can't LOVE it more.

Fail and be glad

Those that fear rejections are usually those that've never had to worry about what they want before.
Those that fear failure, similarly, are usually those that've always live with compliments and successes.

We hate to fall; when we were once so good at something, we hate it when life deals us a random, different card. Even though it may not be something difficult to handle and live with, we just can't cope with it. Simply speaking, it's like when you are too used being a billionaire just to find yourself bankrupt one day - which means two things: reflect and rise (again), or deject and die (in dispair).

So next time when you fail, be glad.

It's like doing homework - the more you practice, the more perfect it gets. And the more you will be prepared when dealed with odd-cards to play with.
But that almost always also mean more dislike and lethargy, less willing and energy.
But there's no way out of this. Just look forward, find your motivation and locate your destination, and then, keep moving.
Failures are not fearful, giving up is.
No matter how tough the going gets, move on.
Because the going will get you tough.

Cons of looking after grandchildren

Last Sunday morning while I was still sleeping, I heard my parents quarrelling outside in the living room. I didn't give much attention to it since it's not an uncommon occurence. But there was a sudden slam on the gate and then my father scolded something loudly. That was unusual. So I picked myself up from my comfortable bed and went out to check it out.

Mum was slouching on the sofa, sobbing. Then I asked dad what happened.
'Your mum wanted to jump off the building!'
WTF.
Then I heard them discussing something bout mahjong, so I concluded wrongly that they quarrelled cause they've lost a lot of money.
But it turned out that I was, well, wrong.
They were merely arguing who to play on the last-player seat later in the afternoon's session of mahjong game. -.-
WTH.
So, fighting over who should be the one playing, when two of them adds up to be more than 100. Zzz.

Menopause is defintely too far away from my Mum's age to be a sound reason, I guess they've just spent slightly too much time with Bryan; too used to arguing and fighting over toys probably.

Surprise surprise!

You know, it's enough of a surprise to know that I haven't applied for any other scholarships apart from the one that's rejected me and still get called up for an interview. What's more is that it's really a good deal they're offering! I can give up my DDP or my desire to apply for USP, just give me this P-that-shall-not-be-named (until I get it). 27th June, wish me luck, pals.

[I'm not complaining that it's on a Sunday, which amounts to one less out-pass and one less weekend-break]

I'm SO (not) excited

Though I've just booked out (and passed my BAC selection test) this morning,
I'm booking in again in less than 7 hours!
WTH.
Guard duty on weekend sucks, even when I tried hard to convince myself that the benefit of saving money will outweigh the cons of the freedom deprived; IT'S NOT WORKING!
Zzz.
Oh wellZzz. Suck thumb I shall.

I'm a badass

I've only just realize that it's been my fault for all that's happened.
I mean, so many things that happened in your life that've been messed up by me, including your A's, I suppose.
And I haven't felt a wee bit of guilt at all.
Maybe, afterall, I'm just oblivious to many things, like you always tell me.
Now then I realize.

Bye, DAs

Yes, it's definitely saddening that we're approaching our last week together with our beloved bunkmates.
Though we'll be parting, friends forever; boyfriends, actually. LOL.