I've been living life to the fullest these few days, well, almost.
I've improved:
mentally (to be more mature),
spiritually (to be more self-aware),
physically (to be stronger),
emotionally (to be cooler), and
virtually (to dream better dreams)
I think the last of all is the most important.
One who sleeps easily and soundly is the one that enjoys higher quality of life.
Perhaps mine was never meant to be of such high standards, but I want to make it happen.
Sleep well, Sleep peacefully...
Among all. this's really the toughest.
--
I'm sure there are people out there that are the same as me.
Whom thinks a lot on and off bed, but more so when everything is still and quiet.
This sucks; the more you can't get to sleep, the more you think, and the more you can't get to sleep. Some stupid cycle.
Insomnia as we call it.
It's about the stress, the pressure, the reality checks, the negative feedbacks, the ugly encounters, the critical comments, the sarcastic remarks, the nature of life...
Everything and anything in the universe.
But it's the strongest thing in this world that triggers these everything; the root cause: the Thoughts.
Sometimes I'm rather glad to have a brain that ensures me a not-so-bright-but-probably-stable-and-well-to-do-future; and sometimes I grumbles about it being insufficient; not enough to match the elites, not enough to let me earn the kind of money I've always wanted to earn, not enough to satisfy myself, not enough to make me happy....
Well, yes, more of the latter than the former; who is contented with a 'not bad' future. We want the best, huh.
But I think the capacity is smtimes not as hateful; it's the activity, the frequency that it works and re-works. I won't say that mine is definitely the most hardworking ones, but I bet it's one of those that works to its fullest.
Because I never fail to have insomnia.
At least it's getting better; I won't give up...
--
Well on a lighter note, I was listening to my MP3 while reading this morning (as in 4am). A decision to walk down the lane gave me the impulsion to switch on SHS's songs to listen.
Now I realise at last the triggering factor for the breakup.
Their songs are really meant for emo kids: Hans, HC, Jul, and yes, me (but in the past)
I can't take it, and switched it off.
It gives me the fullest of emotions, except negative.
I used to embrace and indulge in emo-ness.
But I think it's rather brainless to dwell over an issue and be sad over it when life still has to go on and it could potentially move on faster/lighter/happier and most importantly more purposefully. There's too much external cost involved to consider that other alternative. Emo-ness are not one thing that aids you, neither to the people around you. It destructs you.
If you people are still out there thinking that it's something trendy and cool and makes you the centre of attraction; even when you are only conversing with one other friend, stop it, it's childish.
You have to live you life to the fullest, be optimistic.
(this's for me, before I lose myself to the emo world; a reference point; a starting point. I wanna stay true to my philosophy, but I may lose the battle. But now, I can only tell myself to not give up...)
I won't. I've grown, seriously. I know.
--
On an even lighter note; I'm becoming stronger, leaner.
Fullest; opposite. I haven been eating till I'm full, much less fuller, much less fullest.
I've been surviving on 2meals per day. and exercising every night.
It's cool, to see the improvement; to see the progress...
I'll keep it up,
because I won't give up.
(mental crumbs; useless rumbs)
