Life's back to days without her!
And I'm coping well, I guess.
But I won't say that life's going back to 'normal'
Unless you count going through hell as being normal.
Hell doesn't refer to the emptiness she left behind, of course.
It's the real physical hell that we're gonna go through for the next 3 months or so.
But I'm gonna work hard for it.
Life in army is full of ups and downs.
I was rather happy with life in BMT, where I really improved a lot and grew into a better man.
Didn't get in the leader's course was something I felt glad about in the past, but going through life as a medic, i.e. corporal, or rather, private (and not sct) made me kinda regret not fighting for the best when I still had the chance.
But of course Medic course did imparted me a lot of useful skills and life there was good. Not great though.
Parachuting; speechless. No experience I've ever had, and I guess I'll ever have, will replace the feeling of free-falling in the air, 1000ft high.
And now, the battle's right in front of me, and I feel the chill, the bloodiness.
I'm now at the front line, the battlefield. It's the real test. The real thing.
--
I've recently been reading so much that I can safely proclaim myself to be an avid reader. I'm reading on things from non-fictional books in the field of finance, economics, physics and mathematics, to fictional books in the thriller, romance, inspirational and horror genre.
I think reading is an amazing hobby. Many things that you thought you know, regarding life and everything around, you haven't. And you'll never finish knowing. There's too much to absorb; too much to know.
And it's not about the truth. It's not about the ending. It's not about the answer.
It's the knowing, the story, the question that's important.
I've found my new love.
It's an escapade for me.
It's unattainable, yet so many people pursue it.
It's intangible, yet so many people embraces it.
And I'm one of these faggots, maggots, worms. Bookworms.
I love to read, and to seek a greater knowing.
--
I realize I've became a Daddy/Mummy's boy.
I've so far had more than 10 nights out.
And every single one I've booked out.
And every single one I've came back home.
I've given myself many reason for this.
But I've concluded that it's homesickness.
I just wanna see my parents.
That's that. No other specific reasons.
To think that I'm actually one that dreads staying at home for more than an afternoon.
Remembering my sec school days, it's impossible to see me home before nightfall.
Then during JC life, weekends are forever stay out or morning-return.
Now that I'm in the army, every possible night to stay home seems so precious that I don't wanna miss it a single seconds.
Can't imagine confinements.
--
Of course extra duties are dread too...
Cause that'll result in a missing chance to chill out with my friends!
Life without her is never lonely.
Now that I think of it, I've been living a more fruitful and eventful life without her than the other way round. Life's not stuck with that one person.
Though I may love her more than everyone else multiplied, my life doesn't revolve around romantic love. And now that that love has faded, all the more should I let her out of my mind and life. That's when friends are important.
And also for the simple fact that friends are forever, girlfriends are not...
I may have lost something I wanted so much but failed to cherish, but I've gained invaluable friendships that I now know should always treasure.
Friends forever peeps.
--
Though there are still many of her presence around me,
they're borrowed.
They've expired, but still worthy, still valuable.
Still memorable.
Though the memories not required.
The experience is unforgettable.
