Feeling the weight pushing me up

When discussions constantly require your input and things stand still when you're away... I sought after this sense of importance, and yes, immature, but don't all of you want some sort of social validation? 

In many ways I'm loving this pseudo-indispensability but I'm starting to feel it weighing me down. So much. So much it burns my desire to win even stronger. To get that $500, to get into that final round, to get that A, to get that recognition, to show off the many interviews I've owned, and to be that Demi-god I was never meant or made to be. And then it weighs me down even more. So much more it burns my desire to win ever stronger.