I wish I am as mature as I want myself to be.
I wanna be discipline.
But I can't.
I never imagine myself to be such a failure.
Failing to forget you.
Once again.
How weak I really was, in truth, was never reflected by my physical self.
I realize I'm a loser.
I succumbed to that deep mystery hole in me.
--
I still love you. I miss you...
--
How much I've wanted to lose you for two better futures,
turned out to be one foolish act of folly.
Why do I fucking always make the same wrong decision?!?!
Why do I fucking not learn from mistakes.
Why am I the fucking me.
--
Why can't I forget you,
forget the fucking me of the past.
.
I was so afraid to lose you my dear.
yet I throw you away, so easily.
--
I'll try. I have to.
I guess there wasn't another option.
No other way out.
...
I fucking miss you.
I fucking still love you...
