It felt surreal -- Tey, 2016

Feels damn bloody proud to be here, submitting something I feel strongly about. 🤓

Positivity in times of adversity

Chapter 1: SG100

I would think I spent more time at this place than at home this semester, and at the point of writing, results were just released to say that I'll have more journey to this place for the rest of the semester...

It was indeed a very humbling experience though, having always thought we're above all with young blood gushing within our internal system. But really, there's so so much more to learn. Most importantly, I learnt how important a team is when time gets really hard. Thanks for all the support, moral and physical, so far! We'll get to where we deserve, I believe! 

And that's us on the hot seat! Really thanks all the people who gave us their vote of confidence, and also all the numerous questions that went our way; while tough, they also served to allow critical thinking on our part so that we can fine tune it further for the May finale! Really awesome feeling to win once again, this time round from a pool of 200 youth judges. 

--

Chapter 2: IHG 

I really loved this sport. That was when I was important and useful. This time round, I was still important, but really so much less of use when all the better players are gone. I hope my verb for this sport can become present tense again in the near future. 

I literally did so much more for this sport this year, both on and off court, but I'm inclined to think it'll always be that first love, the distant ex; where you've given in so much but nothing really pays off in the end, except all the bittersweet memories. I'm glad I choose to embrace it once again after stopping in J1, and now I'm glad to say I'm pretty much past my competitive stage for the time being at least. No thanks to my back and knees anyway (or the lack of well-functioning ones) 

--

Chapter 3: CNY 

Not sure where to begin but let's just say CNY this year wasn't the best one I've had. In fact, ever since Ah Ma became bedridden, all have changed...

What used to be the whole extended family gathered at my grandma house is now left with these few to countdown with at my place. But yea, times do change and we have to adapt, I guess. And dad was already unwell in this photo. 

Was on my way to friend's house to bainian but decided to visit someone more important instead. Postponing Ren Ri's Lao Yusheng celebration and spending CNY weekends in the hospital accompanying laopa is definitely not the best way to spend the festive season but I now finally learn where I got my positivity from.

--

Chapter 4: Class Champions

Find me! Haha 

Was really nice of FASS to give such a customised note at the end of our booth duty. But where's my Yee shirt!?! Haha. 

I really think this is a purposeful cause, especially after I was given the opportunity to pursue things that I didn't even think I would pursue in university and therefore I think everyone should be given a chance for at least pursuits of their desire. 

So yea, didn't reject it when TH came knocking on my email to ask me to be their champion as well (sounds like some medieval trial by combat lol). 

But this is really just the beginning, or so I want to believe. We'll also be class ambassador post graduation, and connecting everyone within the cohort up, that's what I love doing! 

--

Chapter 5: THDP

Yea, this happened again. Haha. And I'll just leave this photo here since I've said what I wanna say on IG

Joining dance is really one of my greatest moment/achievement in university life, legitimately going out of my comfort zone. So, good job, Jason! Haha 

--

Chaptet 6: TOTY 

That is one photo that looks really amazing at the top right hand corner (but shouldn't appear on the surface of the earth anymore). So thanks whoever that nominated me, I know I'm not gonna win it and is in this race to 陪跑 but getting this "recognition" is not too bad a feeling too. 

Since I'm not gonna win it and I there's more I wanna say, maybe I'll just give a nomination speech here haha. 

After 3.5 years in hall, I realise there are good things, great things, and the best things that can happen to one that truly live their hall life to the fullest. 

The good things are the awesome moments when you get elected into the JCRC, plan that orientation camp, score that crucial goal to bring the finals to extra time and eventually win back that coveted Gold medal, or simply just dancing on the UCC stage for your hall productions. These are things that you'll remember and talk about 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years down the road. 

The great things are the ones that builds you. Taking the plunge to fill into some leadership positions, initiating new events that made others' hall life a more memorable one, or getting out of your comfort zone to try doing something for the first time. These are the opportunities that'll be hard to find in the future, and will build a character better than the one you were yesterday. 

But most importantly, the best things. They come along with the good and the great. In fact, even the bad and the ugly. There's not gonna be a milestone in your hall life that's gonna be without these best things. Some have more of these, and some just the few close to their heart. Some will eventually fade with time, but the worthy few will stay forever in your life. Truth is, we never know. But one thing's for sure, these are the best things that're happening now - at the best time of your life. And yes, these best things are the friends-cum-neighbors-cum-study-mates-cum-alarm-clocks that are sitting, sleeping, and even shitting right beside you all day every day. Cherish them. 

(there's also a second half about all the past TOTY and those who deserved it but didn't get it, but this can wait)

Edit: no surprise, Bfoo won it! 

--

Chapter 7: HT 

Finally. 

And of course, all these people to thank, and more! 

And this is so so needed! After such a long journey, this is so freaking comforting!!! 

--

Chapter 8: Goodbye

It's finally come to a point where the discussion goes from what operations are needed, to whether there's anymore point in it...

"Yes, it's a minor operation. Question is whether we want to prolong her life with this kind of quality..." 

I don't even wanna think of the amount of courage my aunt must have needed to muster to put to out in the chat. For a very long time, it was only silence. We all sort of know this day would come but no one is ever prepared enough for it I guess. 

Ah Ma brought me up when I was young, and even as I get older I'll sometimes randomly appear at her place to just drop by so her house will be less quiet. Then her health went downhill; she had to move in with my Uncle, Aunty, and finally at my place. I couldn't communicate with her anymore. No one really could. And slowly, I shunned away. Not wanting the awkwardness to persist when she fails to recognise me, I'll only enter her bedside when I had some excuse to, be it to bring my Niece in or to retrieve some stuff. Perhaps it's true that her love is spread amongst many, too many, children and grandchildren that none of us will ever feel as close to her as, say, Zongrui is to his grandma. But really, it's hard to part with someone who's been in all of my life so far. 

I vividly remember her nod when my dad asked if she recognised me last year when she was admitted to the hospital. I vividly remember her quiet self when we went to China together when she was still healthy 10 years back. And I vividly remember her stern face, chiding me and my cousins with a cane in her hands whenever we go out of hand. I vividly remember all the stories she repeatedly told every weekend when we visited her regularly once upon a time. And I vividly remember her, her everything. Even when someday these memories are gonna fade just as hers did, I'll remember, at least for now. And I guess that's all that really matters... 

Vanishing from surface of the earth

Gone offline (kinda) for more than 2 months not by choice, but because I changed to a new iPhone and the Blogger is now a paid-app so haven't been able to post from my phone.

All is well, though. But the digital detox is not the only form of detoxing I need. It's all gonna end (sort of) next Monday when I submit my Thesis... which is a whole new story on its own.

But yep, I'll be back. Soon, I hope.

Poverty

It's been awhile since I've experience what used to be a regularity: bank account going below the minimum to be withdrawn ($20) and wallet having only $2...

So I went to the back and couldn't afford any supper except to buy 3 slices of fruits for $1.80 and I can't even buy a drink to go along with it. Tomorrow's lunch is going to be a challenge but I guess I'll just need to find the money I've hid at various different random places; hopefully I'm as good at find as I am at hiding, even though that'll somehow result in a paradox. 

Ahh, grumpy (hangry) man ranting on and on again...

Real (cruel) world

Yesterday went to meet prof and fellow TAs for the new mod I'm teaching and was taught a real life lesson; I would say it's really a prelude to the working work. 

So five tutors and three of them are year 5 (two of whom have been teaching this mod for the past few sems) while me and this other guy, let's call him L, are year 4s. All of them are DDP and I'm the only single degree tutor; also the prof is a new prof who just got her PhD. 

When I arrived outside the office, Senior (laojiao) A was already with L, so I went to them and self-introduced myself before being joined by the other two TAs to enter the office. The seniors also decided to just settle the tutorial slots and office hours there and then, to shorten the balloting process, and so chaos ensued. I was kinda afraid that I'll have little say to protect my two-day work week, and indeed the three seniors were vehement in their choices. But good thing this life lesson doesn't come at a cost to me: A was super critical of everything L was saying, from why he was teaching even though he's on a local exchange, to why he was given three slots by the prof while the rest of us two. And so with the excuse of scheduling issue, L's initial plan to conduct three consecutive classes was butchered up beyond recognition (made worse by me in my bid to have nicer schedule instead of having to come back for one lesson on Wednesday), even though he's lucky I bargained with him with a proposal that'll keep his 3-slots arrangement with Prof. 

And after the fiasco, I found out the main reason behind the whole episode between L and A: L ignored A when A initiated a conversation outside the office prior to my arrival; and A also found out that L emailed Prof privately to negotiate the 3-slot arrangement while the rest of us were discussing other issues on a common thread. 

明人不做暗事

And I guess it's always nice/beneficial to be humble and friendly, especially when you're dealing with people who are (or think they are) superior (for a lack of better word). 

People, 过来!

For starter, the title is really because I'm missing Lucio and the Brazil days but it kinda fits too! 

I must say I really like the starry ceiling on Emirates and other overnight flights I've been on. Reducing claustrophobia is one thing, a very relaxing mood is another...

First thing after landing is to find my princess haha 

And then my drug 

Next day was meeting this sexy and cute gang of 7 (as well as meeting Jiejing's plus one for the first time, and also invited other classmates to join us, amongst them Hongchew, Jingyang, and Hans turned up! Nice seeing everyone again) 

Next day was Xmas countdown with the Bball bros, who still all acted like kids, while having no problem making friends with the older uncles sitting at the table beside. 老少通吃

And talking bout 吃, this is what happens at Grace's house every Xmas and CNY with the VJ babes and hunks. Food. And also the gambling that's not shown. But this time round we changed to playing non-poker card games. Issit trying to go back to teenage days? Also, it feels good being one of the younger ones in a group again. Haha! 

And finally some Me-time with my real princess. And this is in celebration of the fantastic results Ms Architect had, beating Mr Economist for the first time and hopefully not too many more times to come

And an impromptu meet-up with the A5 people that started with a "meet up soon" in the afternoon. More people have graduated in this photo than not. We're really going into the next stage of life but some things just don't change...

Somehow manage to drag my ass up early next morning (this jet lag took really long to recover) to head down ALL THE WAY to Hougang sports hall to watch Singapore's Invitationals for Handball. The Japanese were really sick. And typing this amidst IHG season makes my fire within heat up 

Headed down to Haji lane after for Ms Blur to get some photos for her work and happen to take the Downtown Line Part 2 on the inauguration day! Also, bumped into the Japanese handballers haha. 

Next day was camping in the library with Ms Blur to research on thesis topic before dance and all the other training starts. Kinda miss this December life... Wish I had time for more of this! 

Then YTF at Deck for three consecutive day! Also, met my thesis Prof for the first time in 2.5 months and thesis proposal(s) is/are looking promising! 

And a break from the library and basketball court, a meal with Junyang and Kangster to welcome Mr Philosoher back from Europe (and going back there again real soon). Still impress you didn't fail to disappoint year on year when you come back without a skirt on 

Hipsters continued hipping from Paulista to Dakota and really found a gem in this part of Singapore. I'll definitely be back. And nice seeing everyone adapting well to this weather back at home! Oh wait, it's the same climate. See you guys on court during IHG, haha 

New Year's Eve steamboat at Xue Er's place with the usual gang less Mayer. A quiet affair which isn't exactly a bad thing but most of the noise was made by her brother Rooney, who really tested my resolve to be a parent HAHAHA. Then fireworks and movie and a sleepy me

New year, Old us 

1st Jan meet up with the wine and dine people reminiscing our Senso and secondary school days and swopping alcohols with teh-o and milo. And the photo on top is already 3 years old! Time really flies by... I really hope our trip together will happen too!!! 

Next day's grandma birthday celebration and a rehearsal for CNY which is to be held at my place this year round. Apart from the brief moment of cake cutting, everyone and every corner of the house is split up into small groups of people surrounding mahjong tables, some with food in the mouth, others with tiles in the hand. It's gonna be more chaotic come February. In other note, look at my grumpy grandma getting tired of this cake cutting shit haha. I hope deep down she'll appreciate the gathering and many generations of kids she's made possible... I guess perhaps when one reaches that age and with many physical issues beyond our control, it isn't that joyous celebrating adding that one additional candle anymore, though victorious nonetheless. 

On a happier note, I rushed back for this: sister's homemade tiramisu; setting the benchmark for a good tiramisu since the first bite I had years back. And good thing no one got to it before me hehe 

And cute little mini cupcakes that my photo made bigger. Oliver had a hand in this, literally, by making the icing top using pastry moulds. Nice but nothing beats tiramisu! 

Rushed over to Sirat to meet this gang, no alcohol (except the moscato I brought over) for the first Xmas. Instead, this:

And evidently, Group B wasn't the last!!! Would have been a surprise if you didn't know both Yicheng and Weehoe don't play FIFA, whereas I have Macus on my side. Apparently next one is a real-life basketball 2-on-2, I really hope Macus will tank as usual haha

And after the festive season, it's back to library...

And court. And here we have Sia-ge "warming up" for basketball training lol 

Friday night was spent with the YCKPS bros less Darren (but Ken joined at the end). Everyone's everywhere: Brazil, Korea, HK/China, Taiwan, Bangkok and everyone's also busy working almost everyday, so it's really heartening to see everyone coming down together (though we live really near each other, except Darren who moved recently). Also, Laoda is finally getting married and even getting his new house before that; marking down my calendar, bro! And also also, teh-o and milo signifying laoda's stepping into the big 3-'0' 

Saturday morning's spent playing friendly with the hall Laojiao alumni, who I will be joining next year. Match wasn't as important as for us to find out our best formation, but even more to see the working people actually having a life. That was heartening. Haha

And then finally we see some alcohol. Wine Connection with the FHAG Butter Boys less Ah neh and Nic Ng; this group can't seem to get away with alcohol no matter how hard we try. And since Tham is used to entertaining clients and colleagues while banker Gab needs to start rehearsing for his banker life, beer and hard liquor were traded for Red and White Wine, and this place is really cheap while offering reasonably good quality wine! Also, things we discuss really vindicated our exit from the young, wild, and free days... Still, happy that everyone's doing pretty well in life! Hope we'll get to suffer together again the following ICT lol

And just before school started on the very last day of the vacation, met up with these people whom I "parted ways" with almost exactly a year ago. Visited the Swedish Fika Cafe for Fika to reminisce the Swedish days and spent some time lamenting how the Swedish food in the Singapore cafe isn't exactly what we had in Sweden (I guess everyone and everywhere people goes, this happens)... And I really want an overseas trip with this gang to happen! It'll be the first time we "go overseas" together hahaha 

And even though school started on Monday, we still found time to escape the reality and took Ms Blur out to Orchard for a midnight escapade to watch the Danish Girl (not Dutch Lady! But legit quite a nice show, especially since true story), marking Ms Blur's first "pontang" from Uni life. Lol. Unbelievable! 

And yet another escape on Tuesday. These free time kinda made me decided to drop my Monday lecture so that I can have a long weekend for more me-and-free time. Also, say hi to Bird, who works in Queensway, and whom we went down to that part of Singapore for. (Kidding, went to get shoes, and it was nearby, really. Lol) 

And now, back to the grind! 

Flew a plane and jumped out of a plane

Not on the same sortie of course!

Counted down to 2015 in London and spent the start of the year in Europe; came back and spent the summer in Canbodia, Malaysia and Japan, and most recently to Brazil for the "winter" vacation. 

You're welcome 

And may the airliners earn more profits from me come 2016 

You're special

And you're one in a million. Or perhaps you're supposed to be extinct. 

That's what makes you so attractive, but that's also what makes you such a tough nut to crack. All social norms don't apply to you, which is very admirable, but yet challenging to me at the same time. But I'm trying to adapt to it, and I think I'm doing not too bad a job so far. But trust me, I'm still trying my very best and using my every energy to perfect it. Someday I'll be there, to be your perfect one :) 

What I would teach my 4-year old nephew

I wanted to write about how I'll teach my nephew not to be negative because it repels people away; not to use offensive aggression as a defense mechanism because it hurts others; and not to act like the world revolves around you even if you don't think you're acting that way. 

It was meant to be a reflection of what I've experienced on my Brazil trip based on a girl called Amanda, who will very likely be reading this anyway, and who I consistently refer to be "like my 4-year old" nephew because of her "childish" behaviors towards the end of the trip. 

--

Perhaps some of the lessons to be learnt still stand but after some introspective reflection and explanation on her part, I realize, in fact, that there is more for me myself to learn from this whole experience than to teach. 

So many what ifs appeared when things turned sort of sour, and we simply chose the simplest way out to assume the least of you. Sometimes it's easier to convince yourself of the side of the story you want to believe, that will absolve yourself of all responsibilities, that will bring you peace. But more often than not, that's not the side of the truth. Or rather, truth has no sides; and no matter how much we tell ourselves to wait for two sides of the story to be heard, we as humans are never objective. 

And that also applies to the person in question. You. Me. Any and everyone. The voice in our heads are never objective, and even when it's about ourselves, it's probably telling a story we want to tell, different from the intrinsic truth we know (or do we?) to be true. 

--

But everyone faces this pseudo-dilemma, everyone faces this daily struggle of the side they want to show. Everyone has a battle they need to fight everyday. Heck, everyone has battles they need to fight that no one else is ever gonna find out. The insecurity. The guilt. The regrets. The angst. The loneliness. The despair. No one's ever gonna know. Yet everyone knows. Because everyone is precisely fighting these same demons as you, me, any and everyone. 

And if we do it more often, perhaps this sense of sonder would have brought about true peace within and amongst human. We all need to stop behaving like 4-year olds.

And that calls for a celebration

Finishing 32MC sem is great, results were not too bad, what's even better is when the person that matters the most gained back her confidence and outdo me. 

I'm immensely proud of you, Ms Blur. 

--

Also, celebration is sweeter when you prepare it yourself hahaha 

Glad I'm back in time for this, having missed it last year. Happy winter solstice everyone! 

Rio de Janeiro 16/12/15 - 19/12/15

Day 9

This welcomed us. Look closely and find "Highest: 38 degrees Celsius"; wasn't prepared for this 

Headed to the beach with a bunch of paranoid girls screaming and getting worried at everything; made us all pretty nervous towards the end as the threat got higher along with the attention they attracted. And then it's back to site visits! 

Got to GOMA, a super hipster working space and was briefed by founder of Emzingo on the future of social entrepreneurship and the social business mapping canvas (which also exposed me to the conventional business mapping canvas)

And then participated in a mini case challenge amongst ourselves helping a new social entreprise, Tem Açucar, find avenues for revenue generation. Very interesting and even more interesting ideas were generated, triggering a tinge of enthusiasm to get into the social entrepreneurship in the future. But I know the risk averse me isn't that cut out for it lol. We'll see! But at least I'm sure I wanna participate in more social entrepreneurship case competition after this

And just to show some hipster-ness in the office space, it looks more like an archi studio to me. And different segments of the space with different layout and design is occupied by different groups of start ups with potential to synergize. "Sharing economy" in the physical form. 

Late in returning back to hotel so dinner was a VERY big portion. Haha I'm kidding, this is a plater for 3 by the beach. Not too shabby 

And then this. Apparently we were at "Porto 3" then the next is "Porto 4" and this is at "Porto 5" (makes sense). But she didn't mention anything about the distance. So we walked for about half an hour rushing for the free flow beer that ends at 12. Pub's name wasn't even at the door so it was pretty lucky we found it. Got 4 beers in quick succession 

Some Latino/Portuguese music and some attempts to samba dance later, 45 minutes of non-stop EDM got us all wet (literally, with sweat). And that about spent all the energy this old man in me has. And some abrupt decisions later, 4 of us got on a cab and got back to the hotel in less than Rs10 (S$4) while the rest walked the 30 minute route. 

Day 10

Next day started with a road trip again 

And check out the matching Brazilian colours standing together, with ever photo-ready cool kid Yixiu in the background 

Orangelife advertisement: says something about speed being the most important thingy or something like that lol 

Lunch was at this super cheap outskirt of town, costing just Rs26 for what would usually be around Rs40 without the rich selection 

Then SangueBom by the same founder, apparently an aspiring plastic surgeon (looks the part at least) who got rejected when he came over to Brazil from Italy due to unforeseen circumstances, and his private yacht dream turned into favela adventures that made him realize the social importance of healthcare services, thus setting up these two social enterprises producing means of rapid diagnosis currently lacking in Brazil. He also manage to smoothly boast about his LV belt mid-speech. Also, liked how he pulled of the (ugly) NUS tie with swag. Wasn't stalkerish enough to snap a photo of him though. 

Went back to hotel and after a mad frenzy of 5-minute changing parade (cos the bus couldn't wait at the lobby for long):

The amazing sunset view from the Sugar Loaf Mountain. Well worth the rush and the wait...

Dinner then night market and a short drinking session that ended in a shophouse (what?!) ended the day.

Day 11

Then the second highlight of the trip: Christ the Redeemer! 

View was also not too bad 

And even got to hi5 him! I mean, so many are trying (see Beatrice and Sherann trying on the right) but I guess only the chosen one got it. Or at least from my perspective that's the case. Lol 

LiNUS also had a great time! HAHAHA 

Then PUC-Rio for tour, lunch, and some lecture on Brazil's economy and social entrepreneurship scene; the aircon that spoiled made the whole experience pretty unbearable. And the Econs lecturer wasn't very knowledgeable bout the Brazilian economy haha 

And finally the last site for our study visits: another incubator with many cool start-ups dealing mainly with the favela (such as Faveliving which brings tourist into the favela - safer ones - to stay) but also some to conserve the environment (which is rare consider the "main" natural attraction in Brazil is Amazon in the north, haven't heard of much talk about the environment the whole time we were in Regió Sudeste) 

That wasn't the final stop though, this is. Some carnivore like meat buffet restaurants that we ate our worth at. Good thing we had the local regular sitting beside us, giving us winks, nudges, and head shakes to differentiate the good stuff from the less-worth when the waiters bring it in. Haven't been to Singapore's Carnivore but I would think this is probably one of the best any of the people present that day ever had (except steak wasn't as good as the Kobe one, I insist, haha)

Headed back to hotel, packed, and took a nap before the sleepless night begins. Went to the beach for a simple pre drinking then headed down to Lapa. And damn we've been in the wrong place all along!! This is indeed where Rio never sleeps. And though we didn't find a club that's good enough to get us high like a kite, the atmosphere in the streets in this area was really pretty intense and exciting. I'm really glad we made this trip; eye-opening! 

And then it ended with this: one of the most amazing sunrise I've ever seen. Well worth the staying up mates, well worth. 

Also met this bunch of dubious people who were pretty eccentric (with non-conventional sexual orientation/identification) but they turned out to be warning us against going to the left side of the beach cos there're pickpockets there! Such kind people and random acts made the sunrise even warmer. 

A quick nap later, it's goodbye. First to Rio, then met Lucio and left him for good this time round after we reach the international airport in São Paulo, in which we spent 7 hours hobo-ing. 

14 hours later landed in Dubai, bathed, nua-ed and then another 7 hours back to Singapore and responsibilities. 2 weeks felt kinda short and I'm already missing everyone as I type this. It's nice because the time was so well spent, and the fun was so intense these happy moments just seem go fly by; and it wasn't as if life was being wasted since we visited so many educational sites, be it a company, an university, or some on-site excursions. It's really been 2 weeks well spent. And most importantly (and hopefully), using this 2-week to exchange for some lifelong friendships - definitely worth it. Sibo~