I screwed up

Haven’t learnt a thing after all these years. 

狼狈的浪漫

This girl taught me that there’re two ways to look at any situation. 

Tho she doesn’t sees them herself sometimes. 

庆兴有你

我们谁也不想走到这一步，但或许这是我俩之间第二最好的结局。

谈笑风生、无忧无虑的交谈间，我知道我们都是为了彼此而做了的这个决定。曾经你我宣誓永不分离、一生相守，如今我们穷途末路走到了这一步。但这七年并未荒废，我们携手同行、并肩成长，为彼此付出、也从彼此身上学习了很多很多。或许七年已远超乎了我们这段爱情的有效期限，但回首这七年，我依然...

庆兴有你

—

忘了我 曾把你 擁在我心窩

忘了我 曾給你 擁有的所有
忘了我 曾是你的宇宙
不眠不休 無怨無尤

忘了我 多難過 多不能接受
忘了我 只要你好過就足夠
忘了我 忘了我們的夢
當你想起我 我已不是我

—

世上唯一不变 是人都善变
路过人间 爱都有期限
天可怜见 心碎在所难免

—

怎麼能輕易說要結束

怎麼會讓你抱著我哭

太努力的我們最後用力給祝福

怎麼看你笑著 我卻心如刀割

原來我們都一樣頑固
怎麼會誰都絕口不提要幸福
再也不能牽著你走未來每一步
我們懷念什麼 失去愛那一刻 才曉得

—

我们的爱情 到这刚刚好
剩不多也不少 还能忘掉
我应该可以 把自己照顾好
我们的距离 到这刚刚好
不够我们拥抱 就挽回不了
用力爱过的人 不该计较

我们的爱情到这刚刚好
再不争也不吵 不必再煎熬
你可以不用 记得我的好
我们的流浪到这刚刚好
趁我们还没到 天涯海角
我也不是非要去那座城堡
天空有些暗了暗的刚刚好
我难过的样子就没人看到
你别太在意我身上的记号

Without fail

Almost 7 years. Everyday. 

I don’t know how to wake up without saying good morning or to sleep without saying good night anymore. 

终于结束的起点

Mayday concert is coming and I just decided to finally download Spotify. For the first time I was listening to Chinese songs on my phone and somehow I just decided to loop Mayday's 突然好想你 - though I normally avoid looping something I've already heard countless of times. The irony, I know. 

Scrolling through Facebook on the bus (as I usually does after getting tired of my books) the news of your engagement appeared. It was really quite overwhelming how the stars aligned - it was precisely this song I looped then and precisely because of our break-up that it was looped endlessly. But I genuinely felt happy for you! And the chat we had after that in the same morning was comforting to say the least. We have indeed came a long way; two long non-parallel lines that intercepted early in our lives and to diverge further and further from that fateful point onwards. 

Coupled with the wedding earlier this weekend, that 散场的拥抱; it's as though fate has it to rush me forward; to move on. I have. And while you have all found your respective parallel lines to complete your run; I have mine as well. 

Best birthday presence

Slightly late but this was the best birthday ever spent with you (can't remember vividly the past birthdays before you really hahah). Partly cos there was the impromptu part (on the actual day), then the surprised part (surprisingly delicious and nicely-decorated but expectedly thoughtful), then the planned part (retail theraphy!). NAISE 

We busy like that but we impromptu like that, too! 

 

 

We forgot how punishing the sun in Singapore was but it was worth it to burn off the calories of the good meal! 

My favourite presence ^^

 

Pork-u-pine (with a blanket HAHA) I guessed it before she finished opening the box heh 

  

Orca and fishes (I guess they were Nemos since orange haha) 

"I love you!" 

Someone like you

This space is becoming more and more like a travelog and it really shouldn't be. I'll spend more time on it when I can afford (I really can, but I'm just lazy)

But this is a must to blog about cos really, I'll probably never find someone like you. 

Things slowed down a little cos we don't see each other as often after we both moved out of hall, and as you mature through your course this bear shoulder is less often needed (and it's a good thing! or maybe I just don't realise it as much cos of the previous point). But it was so nice to know you're coming over when I'm horribly sick even though I really should reject you (from Yew Tee to Hougang then to Buona?!). When I hear that click on the lock in the main door I knew it was you and I waited for the door to open before I open my eyes... Because it really feels awesome for me to see you first thing I open my eyes. 

May we have many more years of eye-opening experiences, babe :* 

Also, less ginger next time will equally warm my heart (and stomach) as long as it's from you ;) 

4 you

4 amazing years and many more with you and matcha cheesecake! 

 

Fking love this scrapbook!!! Thanks blurblur 😁 Thanks for BEARing with me haha

You're special

And you're one in a million. Or perhaps you're supposed to be extinct. 

That's what makes you so attractive, but that's also what makes you such a tough nut to crack. All social norms don't apply to you, which is very admirable, but yet challenging to me at the same time. But I'm trying to adapt to it, and I think I'm doing not too bad a job so far. But trust me, I'm still trying my very best and using my every energy to perfect it. Someday I'll be there, to be your perfect one :) 

Zouk out

Nah, She Rocks out. 

Even Amanda who spent most of the pre-drinking reflecting on life thought it was a good night, it must be a good night. 

It's been awhile since I've last enjoyed a clubbing session, and many can vouch for it. And it's always bem clubbing overseas, especially with people you enjoy being with

--

There was this moment, though, of tranquility, where everything around me just seems to stop. With all the hot Brazilian girls and eye candy around, I just closed my eyes and thought of you..

And I smiled. I smiled like an idiot in the middle of the dance floor thinking about you. And I understood what he meant when he said "the whole world seems to stop". At that moment, I can't help but feel a sense of contentment... My life is complete, and the only regret, perhaps, is that you're not here with me; but I know we're one, even at that moment. And I smiled. 

That is definitely one of the most amazing feeling one can ever possibly experience, and I got it there and then. 

Raining bear and octopus

Love is when two person can independently live apart but chooses not to

I think I'm starting to not be able to do that. Cos I'm starting to think I can't live without you! 

And the thought of us having to enter another LDR again makes me miss you so much even though we've just parted. And really, I was so damn frustrated last night because it reminded me of our last night together in Stockholm... 

Whole meal world

This bear has no game, only a blur but loving nun ;)

Happy valentine's day!

I really love how we spent the half an hour leading up to v'day: simple and happy. And really, life after you has been like this every single day...

Thanks so much, Ms Blur! ^^

It was indeed beautiful

I know it's one of your on-and-off thingy going on again and you'll probably pick yourself up very soon. But no matter what, thank you... 

挥之不去

Goodbyes don't matter when we know someday we'll meet again. It matters when that someday seems like an eternity away

160115

New meaning of "wholesomeness" 

--

Also, when I type in the label below iPhone tried to autocorrect it to "really soon"...

It's a sign. 

*Viewer's discretion*

Sports and food always pop up in our conversation at the wrong time >< 

I'll always tell you to press on

Because you never know when is the day you'll suddenly have that eureka moment; that moment of enlightenment. It may come in a few year's time, tomorrow, or the next thing you do... You just never know what's coming for you even after failing so many times. School teacher talks about the Edison story of repeated failure so much that it starts to become a bore...... until it really happens to you. And you never, never, ever know when that's coming. 

Maybe it's not because you're too simple-minded. Picasso was told he was too abstract; Einstein was thought to be crazy. Who is to say your "simple-mindedness" isn't the next big thing? If there's one thing for sure, that's that you're not the same as others... You're not lazy, and you're not stupid; don't ever let failures and defeats, or even society, tell you otherwise. 

--

But I know, I know that you're really tired and exhausted. I know you've tried. We don't know your limits. But if you decide that you have had enough, just know that I'll always be with you, standing by your side (even if not physically), no matter which way you choose to go...

Talk to people about it, your teacher; your peers; your mentors; someone that can help. 

Talk to me...

Run to me.

--

No problem is too small between us. 

16 years old, maybe 18

When I met you, you were "15" 

You've grown, and we both know it. I'm proud of you, really. 

Especially your most recent positivity and reaction to what I've been trying to tell you all these while.